Stupid News
Hey everyone, Sorry I haven't blogged in awhile but I went on Vacation. (imagine that?) Yeah, I got my ass out from behind the computer and went to the beach where I was disconnected from the world for a few days. Felt good to just lay on the beach and do absolutely nothing. If you haven't done so this summer, it's something you must do. It definitely recharges the batteries. So I'm here at work, refreshed and a few shades darker to rejoin the blog world. Have to catch up on all the blogs I've missed. I found some funny news stories. I can read these stories for days, it amazes me how stupid and retarded people can be.
FREAK
Who wouldn't fall for such a clever trick?
Reuters - An Italian couple stole 50,000 euros from a woman in the Sicilian city of Palermo after convincing her they were vampires who would impregnate her with the son of the Anti-Christ if she did not pay them.
-OK. It's 2005 and people still fall for that.
French like the way they look, survey shows
Reuters - The French think they are good looking.
-As funny as the statement was, THAT WAS THE WHOLE ARTICLE!
Inmate sues over finger in veggie meal
Reuters - A California prison inmate has sued a Florida food packager after biting into a human fingertip in one of its packaged vegetarian meals, his lawyer said on Friday.
-Are you kidding me, inmates with veggie meals? He must have a cell with the lady who tried to sue Wendy's.
Pirated Harry Potter book sells briskly in Dhaka
Reuters - Pirated copies of the latest Harry Potter novel are selling briskly on the streets of Dhaka, at about one-fifth the price of the original.
-I never thought I would see the day when people boot legged books.
Running on Empty
A bevy of thieves thought it would be a wise idea to steal cars from one of those trucks that transport automobiles across the nation. Everything went smoothly until it was realized that each car only contained one gallon of gasoline.
-Wish I could have seen that.
Beating Time
A man sued his doctor because he survived his cancer longer than the doctor predicted.
-Are people that stupid to think they can sue for stuff like that?
Reconsider
Two robbers were in the process of their crime when one changed his mind and arrested the other.
-What a friend.
One minute man
A woman had her husband's ashes made into an egg timer when he died so he could still "help" in the kitchen.
-That's just dumb.
My Two-Cents
Man jailed in India for 50 years without trial released after paying two-cent fine. Herbert Simmons unavailable for comment.
-If it was only that easy here.
Never give a klutz a gun
People who accidentally shot themselves recently: Anthony McCoy, 20, Edwardsville, Pa. (while he was playing with a gun, said police, it fired, nicking his scrotum, July). Maceo Price, 32, a bodyguard for singer R. Kelly, Marietta, Ga. (accidentally shot himself in the leg while removing his gun at a nightclub, September). Randy Robinson, 19, Toronto (fatally shot himself while pocketing his gun as he fled a taxi robbery, December). Thomas Morris Van Dyke, 40, South Buffalo, Pa. (fatally shot himself in the neck while climbing into his shoddily made hunter's tree stand, December). And police officers in Collinsville, Ill. (December), and Hopatcong Borough, N.J. (November) (the Collinsville officer shot his foot during a drug raid, and the New Jersey officer shot his leg during his annual firearms qualifying test).
-No comment.
On the Screen
Federal agents who were interviewing Gerald T. Williams, 34, about possible child pornography at his home in St. Louis said that in the course of the interview, a screen saver featuring child-sex images happened to appear on Williams's computer.
Williams pleaded guilty.
-serves him right. I hate people like that.
Names in the News
A Springfield, Ill., lawyer was unsuccessful in his petition to a judge to have his client tried for DUI-reckless homicide under a false name, in that the jury could not be fair if it knew her real name, which is Doris Lush; in fact, she was convicted. Another Roseville, Mich., woman might have a similar problem: Denise Coke, 25, was charged with possession of 33 pounds of cocaine. Not so troubled: Mr. Emmanuel Innocent, of Ottawa, Ontario, charged with attempted murder in a bar fight. -Glad I have a normal last name.
The Diet
Brian F. Monfort, 27, was arrested in Springfield, Ohio, in April and charged with child enticement based on an arrest report noting that twice, in January and March, he had approached children and paid them up to $40 to insult him for being fat, supposedly as a tactic to inspire himself to lose weight.
-That shit is funny, He could pay me and I'll inspire him to lose weight.
FREAK
Who wouldn't fall for such a clever trick?
Reuters - An Italian couple stole 50,000 euros from a woman in the Sicilian city of Palermo after convincing her they were vampires who would impregnate her with the son of the Anti-Christ if she did not pay them.
-OK. It's 2005 and people still fall for that.
French like the way they look, survey shows
Reuters - The French think they are good looking.
-As funny as the statement was, THAT WAS THE WHOLE ARTICLE!
Inmate sues over finger in veggie meal
Reuters - A California prison inmate has sued a Florida food packager after biting into a human fingertip in one of its packaged vegetarian meals, his lawyer said on Friday.
-Are you kidding me, inmates with veggie meals? He must have a cell with the lady who tried to sue Wendy's.
Pirated Harry Potter book sells briskly in Dhaka
Reuters - Pirated copies of the latest Harry Potter novel are selling briskly on the streets of Dhaka, at about one-fifth the price of the original.
-I never thought I would see the day when people boot legged books.
Running on Empty
A bevy of thieves thought it would be a wise idea to steal cars from one of those trucks that transport automobiles across the nation. Everything went smoothly until it was realized that each car only contained one gallon of gasoline.
-Wish I could have seen that.
Beating Time
A man sued his doctor because he survived his cancer longer than the doctor predicted.
-Are people that stupid to think they can sue for stuff like that?
Reconsider
Two robbers were in the process of their crime when one changed his mind and arrested the other.
-What a friend.
One minute man
A woman had her husband's ashes made into an egg timer when he died so he could still "help" in the kitchen.
-That's just dumb.
My Two-Cents
Man jailed in India for 50 years without trial released after paying two-cent fine. Herbert Simmons unavailable for comment.
-If it was only that easy here.
Never give a klutz a gun
People who accidentally shot themselves recently: Anthony McCoy, 20, Edwardsville, Pa. (while he was playing with a gun, said police, it fired, nicking his scrotum, July). Maceo Price, 32, a bodyguard for singer R. Kelly, Marietta, Ga. (accidentally shot himself in the leg while removing his gun at a nightclub, September). Randy Robinson, 19, Toronto (fatally shot himself while pocketing his gun as he fled a taxi robbery, December). Thomas Morris Van Dyke, 40, South Buffalo, Pa. (fatally shot himself in the neck while climbing into his shoddily made hunter's tree stand, December). And police officers in Collinsville, Ill. (December), and Hopatcong Borough, N.J. (November) (the Collinsville officer shot his foot during a drug raid, and the New Jersey officer shot his leg during his annual firearms qualifying test).
-No comment.
On the Screen
Federal agents who were interviewing Gerald T. Williams, 34, about possible child pornography at his home in St. Louis said that in the course of the interview, a screen saver featuring child-sex images happened to appear on Williams's computer.
Williams pleaded guilty.
-serves him right. I hate people like that.
Names in the News
A Springfield, Ill., lawyer was unsuccessful in his petition to a judge to have his client tried for DUI-reckless homicide under a false name, in that the jury could not be fair if it knew her real name, which is Doris Lush; in fact, she was convicted. Another Roseville, Mich., woman might have a similar problem: Denise Coke, 25, was charged with possession of 33 pounds of cocaine. Not so troubled: Mr. Emmanuel Innocent, of Ottawa, Ontario, charged with attempted murder in a bar fight. -Glad I have a normal last name.
The Diet
Brian F. Monfort, 27, was arrested in Springfield, Ohio, in April and charged with child enticement based on an arrest report noting that twice, in January and March, he had approached children and paid them up to $40 to insult him for being fat, supposedly as a tactic to inspire himself to lose weight.
-That shit is funny, He could pay me and I'll inspire him to lose weight.
posted by GQ1NYC at
9:44 AM
9 Comments:
YES YES YES my daily laugh is back..glad you had a good vacation..now back to blogging..
That was fantastic!
Thanks for the giggle...
Found you through Diane's site...
where is that mans lips. and u can almost see her nipples :)
Catalina- Thanks for the complement
Spexial- Sorry for the delay but now that puts pressure to make funny posts.
Freaky- So would I.
Heather- Welcome
Blue- I knew you would notice the nipple.
yeah her boobs r big!
i bet it makes u want to lick :)
Nice to have you back GQ, but if you talk about a tan then you have to post pictures (tan lines are a bonus)
;) Princess
HA! But, wait, that picture with the guy whose bottom lip fits over his face is kinda freaky. And did you notice the look on the girls face standing next to him , like she just wants to escape and somehow lunge herself off the bridge they are standing on?
HA HA HA HA HA HA Glad your Back!!!!
Great post!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home